Friday, February 24, 2006
hey bloggie!!!!!
so guess what. e main common tests are finally over and i SINCERELY have no idea how they went. weather i'll pass or fail. no idea. but i'm quite glad they're over. ire all yneeded time to just SLEEP. i slept e whole day today with alot of interruptions from my mom, but i still selpt for like 2and a half hours. then i watched AMI hen i watched survivor and now i'm here. hwat a lazy pig right? but you know what. i seriously don't tihnk feeling guilty the minute i stop doing work is very healthy at all. i mean sure our brain needs some exercise once in a while but so does are body, and spirit and they need rest too! i think i'm really gonna start going into studying as a form of learning rather than scoring well. i mean for years people would tell me to study for God and for years it's been ahrd for me to get, i mean why does God want me to study?? okay, to learn. so i'm gonna study to purely learn. cause when i go into an exam or start studying and say i'll do this for God I think, there're so many other ways to please God. So now i'm gonna just study all my subjects with e mindset of me learning from it all. i'm not gonna concentrate on six subject so i get those 6 A1s cause that's not e point of school, of education. learning is. so i'm just gonna learn as much as i can about each subject and then pour everything i've learnt and remembered up to that point onto e exam papers. grades will always only be grades but learning is a lifetime journey (gosh i sound like a lifetime learning add:)) and i know that's what God wants me to do, to learn and make e most out of my life here on earth. well i'll update more tomorrow, got lots more to say but i'm gonna call my kajenny now and wake her up! toodaloos! ..rooooooooooooooooo
SHE'S NOT IN!!! :( and i ran into e dark living room and switched on e lights and fan and everything too!!! with all e creatgures of e night probably staring at me. now i have e music on quite loud to shoo any insects that might be attracted to me as they usually are. i don't know why i'm so afraid of insects. i seriously don't. and i wish i did cause they're not all that scary are they? i mean haven't i had enough encounters to be used to them?? actually i'd ratehr call it an extreme disgust. but um okay it's getting to dark and creepy and weird sounds are coming so i'm gonna go try and sleep and finish up tomorrow. me and nights just don't mix.:)
Child of God;
7:13 AM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
hey bloggie!!
Singapore's weather is so weird, yet cute. it suddenly started pouring just now and i switched e computer on to blog and by e time e computer loaded the heavy rain had turned into a light drizzle. oh singapore. i feel SO safe here. there's this one killer on e loose who shot a father and tied up e rest of e family in Serangoon and the Police blocked off roads and sent out descriptions of the man everywhere and the aorport police are on high alert now!!! so he's probably somewhere in hiding not daring to do anything now. and i was so freaked out at first and then realised these things happens in bigger countries all the time and NOTHING like what is being done here could be or is being done there so i'm feeling all blessed to be in such a safe and well-governed counry. okay NOW i understand what mom and the infamous Mr.Ravi keep saying about my super long sentences. hehe. I had my english and social studies common tests today. sigh.............. english was OK i GUESS. but social studies ayoh. what can i say??? it was such a mess? i didn't have enough time?? the irritating thing is if i just had the whole day to think and not be pressurized thinking about how little time I had i'd like ace it. SERIOUSLY!! but i don't. and it's frustrating cause people who don't even study and don't even CARE about social studies are getting higher marks than me!! argggh. it's totally not faaaaaiiiiiiirrrrrr! i really can't stand this system of having to do exams in a fixed time. it just adds so much pressure. and it becomes a test of how fast you write and how much you've memorized and can vomit out rather than something that requires intelligence or further thinking or analysis. but i can't do anything about it which is what frustrates me so much!! i mean e whole exam system is like that. what can I do. the thing is mom's ALWAYS taught me that i can always do something about it and usually i can but this is so much out of my hands. i can't change the whole of singapore's exam system. siiigggggggghhhhhhhh. ah well, when things are out of my hands I know where to turn to so i'll be fine:) SOO can't wait for Maya akka Owen Rohan and Charllene to come down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i better not get too excited in case they can't make it afterall. also if i do i'll be doing everything looking forward to them coming down and miss them SO much when they leave. it's still been hard for me to look forward to heaven as I go about my life and i think it might take a while. i guess however much i try to grow up fast i'm still such a teen:) i'm feeling really sick. throughout the exams i would suddenly like not be able to concentrate and i would start to see things out of proportion. like blown up. it's just that you're gonna get sick feeling. and i HATE it. that phlegm thing i got in London still hasn't gone away.yup. 4MONTHS! and it still hasn't stopped. the phlegm. oh the phlegm. it's just getting me more prone to sickness. mom thinks i might have asthma!!!! cause e phlegm kinda come esp after running or drinking something cold. but i've been taking my vitamins and drinking so much water that i'm deemed as "ALWAYS needing to go to the toilet". ah well. it's still nice being sick cause you can just sleep in all day and most of all NOT STUDY ( i bet my mom's gonna make me study after reading this:)) okay okay i better go. feeling guilty already for spending like 15mins blogging. will go read through some physics now.seeeeeeeee yaaaaaaaaa! -you-know-who
Child of God;
3:20 AM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
WARNING. OUTRAGEOUSLY LONG ENTRY. READ AT YOUR OWN EYES' RISK :)
hey bloggie!!! i have so much work i'm starting to feel sick but i'm sure i'll manage with God by my side! i'm really gonna get into the habit of praying and asking God for perseverance and strength to do my work before i start cause it really helps. more like God really helps me :) You know i actually asked God to give me some trial in my life the other day?? i know. how weird am i?? i guess i was just feeling so blessed! But God answers all questions however dumb and He told me something to the extent that they'll come and sometimes all at one blow, and these times of happiness and blessing are what i'm gonna remember and get over my trial with, and are what will help me to remember that there's a God holding my hand every step of the way through my trials. Oh by the way, I think they've started! haha! I just felt really overwhelmed this morning before church and even after service to the point of feeling sick because of all the work i have to do but as the day passed God just kept assuring me that if i just put my burdens in His hands He will take care of me. I don't know how He assured me, I just know He did. it's so hard to explain moments like those. you just KNOW eh?
And I just read your entry prabs! and well my reply is you're partly right! well it's not that God wouldn't mind your skeptism, it's just that God knows and does not condemn you for having it cause He knows we're human and imperfect. you're also saying that accepting God would be easy cause you could blame everything on Him and get help from Him whenever you need Him and life would just be a piece of cake and you'd never grow and just be babied around right? Well you touched on ALOT of things prabs just in that one sentence. so let me reply one by one ya?:)
Firstly, accepting the existence of God does not equal to blaming everything on Him. there are mainly three things that causes suffering in general. one, our own sin (e.g. taking drugs, smoking - addiction), secondly, other people's sin (eg. wars, greed, hate. jealousy). and thirdly, there's Natural Disasters. now that's a hard topic but Jesus does say many times in the Bible that an indication of the coming of the end are natural disasters. When asked about the signs of the End of the Age Jesus said "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places" Matthew24:7 i'm not too sure about the natural disasters part of suffering but i'm sure someone or rather will comment and explain! :) but WHATEVER it is I believe that God works through suffering. so basically believers actually know MORE than others that their suffering is because of their humanly sin and not because of God, but I think that God does put trials in your life to help you grow.
So on your second part of the question, I feel suffering brings us to maturity. God is much more interested in making us holy rather than happy and He often uses suffering to bring about His good purpose. my sister gave a really good example once but i can't remember it now. so sister! please comment and say that incident again! So basically it's all linked. The trials that we bring upon ourselves or that God puts in place are there to help us grow and mature and because of these our lives are not just all free and easy. But God is there to help yes. not to SOLVE, HELP. we still need to do that bit of growing up, but that growing up also involves one learning to depend on God and seeking help from God knowing we're imperfect and helpless really. so you're sentence "Life without God would be harder, don't you think?" is right! cause you'd experience the same troubles and trials but have no higher power to depend on to assure you that things not in your own hands will come through because He is in-charge of all! because you wouldn't have that Creator to assure you, have faith, and Divya will come on time and you can catch the premiere of the movie on time (remember that incident??). i could tell you loads of incidents where God has comforted me, helped me and taught me valuable lessons at the same time.
you also typed "God being God (assuming he IS nice and saintly and all that) would help me even if I don't believe in him right?" And you don't believe He's helping you now already, you not believing in Him:)? I don't think ANYTHING OR ANYONE else could have blessed us with the homes, the families the friends, the education, the food that we have now. But anyway, let's just say everyone doesn't believe in Him and He just keeps giving everyone everything they need. Everyone will start believing that they themselves are getting what they need because of their OWN hard work and will never realise the pure existence of God or who is giving them that ability to work hard. So God IS good, cause by helping us only when we believe in Him and by having faith that He will help us, He teaches us that it is only through Him that we exist and that we are helpless without Him. it is only through this that God shows His glory, his power, his involvement in our lives.
okay it's not ONLY through that. you can see His glory in His creation as well. I mean who can look at the sky, at the seas, at the meandering rivers and the alluvial floodplains :) and say that it all just "appeared" here. There is a Creator and He sure didn't just create all of this and take a vacation to Pluto or something. He's too involved in my life for me to even think that we've been distanced from Him. You know you typed there's too much against the existence of God to prove it. but i don't think i need to prove it. I think his wonderful creations, you and me and our intricately designed bodies and the World around us lie testimony to His existence. I have yet to find anyone who opposes that. I mean if there is no God how does the sun keep revolving around the Earth so that thee is night and day, I mean it can too go on vacation to Pluto or bounce around in space:) well I have SO much more to say but I'm sure your eyes are hurting by now my dear prabs but please keep asking me questions. You know I'd never believe in anything, dedicate my life to something I wasn't sure existed. I'm sure you know me well enough:) but I understand that everyone's different, and you probably look at it all at a more intellectual viewpoint like my cousin.
And by the way, you will never find anything in the Bible backing up agnosticism:) cause from the first page to the last page, it's all about God. And there is SOOOOOO much evidence to prove that the Bible is true and I'd get you a book (newly published!) with all of it if you'd read it, but the facts can get quite boring(or maybe that's just me). Along with a REAL Bible, not the weird fake one you have at home! haha! Hilarious. Actually, I must say it was reading God's Word that really started me believing in Jesus. You just can't deny it:) Phew! That was one long entry! Haha! Ah well. I hope it was informative for you Prabs. Okay I better go finish up my SS studying. See ya on Monday prabs. And thanks. This really cleared up my thoughts too.
Child of God;
3:22 AM
