Sunday, April 30, 2006
hi!!
it's been a loooong time since i last blogged. okay maybe not THAT long according to ka jenny's standards but long enough according to mine! where do i start? lent! definitely! i'm not like a totally new person or anything (i think that can only happen once while on Earth :)) but i do have a new found sense of realisation. i've come to realise whatever has been blocking me from God. including my studies, which i put so much importance on i actually start putting my quiet time with God in between slots for my study time. i shouldn't be making time for God, i should be making time for my studies. then again even my studying i do to honour God and use the ability He's given me so that in itself is worship to Him right. i've found that when people talk about worship the first thing that comes to every christian's mind (or at least mine) is singing and praising Him with songs but that's not all it is. worshipping God can be giving my life to Him or even just an aspect of it. worshipping Him can be just knowing He is the only God and revering Him. worshipping Him is studying/working/going about our daily lives in a way that is honourable or pleasing to Him. okay i've diverted quite abit. i can totally survive without my weekly fixes of american idol! or choir! or a plan to go out in the weekend! i don't need them to get through my week.. i'm perfectly fine with the joy of the Lord as my strength. He's given me so much throughout this could-have-been-really-stressful week. not just strength but peace, reassurance, and i think especially, an aim. everytime i just felt like uggggggggh.. i don't wanna do this anymore!! i just remembered Who i'm doing this for and i always somehow find new strength and determination. doing it for anything else i'd end up at the question.. so what? well anyway i had this terrible/wonderful INCIDENT with two insects. yes TWO. so i was happily and innocently studying in the hall while pop and mom were in e room and mom was clearing her table. then she comes out of her room and i think: oh she probably wants to put away some stuff and then suddenly i fel this swish at my head and it didn't take me 2 seconds to realise that there was probably a fly in my hair. I KNOW!! how gross right? and it wasn't just some ordinary housefly but one those flies that get attracted to the light and then burn and die? yea those. and it's was just so utterly gross cause it had probably been sitting in my bushy, cool (i'd just washed it) hair thinking hey! this isn't half bad! and i'm not burning i'm not burning! shishkebab. and so that was the first insect. sooo.. the same night where i'm again innocently walking about taking a break before i switch subjects when i find myself at the dining room table fidling with something. and i'm like hmm.. what could that be? so i look down and i see this saga seed like thing (it was dark reddish-brown!) and then i put it down and it's a.. a.. BEETLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXACTLY! even gross-er right??? and all in the same night! so obviuosly i screamed and screamed and shivered and shivered at the mere thought of fiddling with that thing and went and washed my hands like 5 times. YUCK. yea well after i got over the whole trauma of the incident and came a little back to my right mind i realised that both times however disgusted i felt, i never felt any pain! i mean the beetle could have very well bitten me. i mean i was turning it around in my fingers. if somebody tried to turn ME around i probably would have gotten quite visious myself but it didn't do a thing. and i promise you that my scalp is fine and my hair's all intact. so i know God was teaching me a lesson. He told me through that that He is incharge of all inects and creatures of the Earth and He won't let them harm me. I thank you for that Lord, that you care so much about me. i must say my fear for beetles has decreased considerably having fiddled with a real-life one:D but i know i can't go about fiddling with every insect just to get over my fear. i have to trust in God.. there's no other way. and i don't know why it's hard for me to trust in Him someimes..cause He's so BIG and so real to me.. but i guess as humans we're always kinda stuck in this one dimension of feelings/thoughts especially in times of crisis and can't look past them and remember God, which is why i guess i need to involve Him more in my life. every aspect of it.. so that however big the problem i can be calm and reassured knowing that the mightiest Being the universe, is right beside me ..rubhi
Child of God;
8:48 PM
Thursday, April 13, 2006
hi bloggie!!!
it's been a real long while since i've blogged but even now i can't blog for long. too much work to do!! the computer's fixed and ready for use! hurrah! and we found ka jenny's scripts! hurrah again! :D I was reading karyn's blog and karyn, you're seriously the sweetest!! I totally feel the same actually. Karyn's been yet another great blessing God has placed in my life and i really wouldn't have grown as much or yearned to learn more about Christ if it weren't for her. Thanks Karyn for discussing so many things about Christianity with me! I'm really grateful for such a wonderful partner. God just arranges things so brilliantly doesn't He? I just wanna thank God right now for putting so many loving people in my life that have helped me so much along the way. Like abigail and pastor ian and amaria and karyn. But for every person God brought into my life, He required me to take a step of faith. Like to join that GIG course, where i met abigail, or reply that email from pastor ian, or join a cell group, where i met amaria, or talk to my fellow classmate (karyn!). we need to get out of our comfort zone, take a step of faith, confront our fears if we want God to change our lives. it starts with us! we can't just expect it and wait. i also wanna thank God for the wonderful church He's put me in. It's really an environment that i can learn in. the teachings are purely scripture-based and when looking for answers we always turn to God or His Word, which really helps me cause i think way too much and i would never be satisfied with answers thought up by humans however, intelligent or trustworthy. I also wanna thank God for the great friends He's put in my life like Sarah, sindhuja praba and karyn. i know i don't have many friends but i can always count on them to be absolutely loyal and that's all i need! loyal, true friends, that even wait for like an hour for you to arrive so they can start eating lunch with me, however famished they may be. I really don't know what i'd do in school without them, they're people i can relate to and talk to at a personal level and yet they're people i can debate with and laugh over a disagreement. They're people who'll buy you fulscap and give you pens they don't need when they know you're always short of them! (thanks again karyn!) I thank God so much for them, and thanks family who was praying at e beginning of last year for me to find good friends. I did. well i better start doing some work now although it IS like 12 am already.. and i need to wake up at 9.. maybe i'll sleep now and wake up earlier tmw. ya. that's what i'll do. goodnight then! sweet dreams blog!
Child of God;
8:29 AM
