Wednesday, September 27, 2006
hi!! it's been forever since i blogged i know. my prelims were really bad.. i mean the papers were terribly difficult and i made the stupidest mistajes and got caught in the worst ever situations. long story. but basically, i think God was trying to teach me a big lesson that's still hard for me to learn. it's not about the marks. it's about doing my best.. i mean HOW many times have blogged about this right? but i guess i really needed a few experiences to get it right in my head. i mean, i'm still working toward the exams.. OBVIOUSLY, cause if i weren't i wouldn't be studing so much just now when my exams are approaching, i'd be studying just as hard all year round if my aim werejust to always do my best for God right? so i guess exams still have a certain hold on me that i need God's help to break down. God REALLY helped me throughout my tamil exam. i mean i don't usually ask God for answers, just clarity of mind.. but during my tamil exam i oculdn't remember quite a few words that i'd learnt for the compo and i would pray and it would ocme zooming back into my mind a few seconds later. God is sooo good! and the title that came out was EXACTLY what we'd been preparing!!! me and my dad that is. God you Rock! (can be taken literally as well if you know what i mean:)) and also i think i was alot trying to do it all for God, i forgot to do it WITH Him. i forgot to draw strength from God and tried to depend on my own strength (which is really nothing) and ended up really stressed out in the end. so dumb!! anyway.. e studying starts all over again! it's been a hard time of testing and recognising sins that i never realised before that i had like envy and pride. alot of which comes from a lack of security i should think, but God's been helping me so much, and growing me so much through all those problems however much i despised them when i was having them. it's still very hard to humble myself.. but i have e greatest role model by my side and i know He'll help me get through this. I mean if Him coming down to earth, suffering earthly pain on the cross for our sake isn't humility i don't know what is.. it just feels like a very unachievable task right now.. ah well. i'm gonna go for a run now! after a LONG LONG time. see ya!
Child of God;
3:41 PM
Sunday, September 03, 2006
hi! i can't make this very long, so i'll try to summarise everything that's been happening. I'm still struggling quite badly with my pride, but God's been bringing alot of people to talk to me and explain things out to me which is great! Pastor Joshua has really been such a blessing. Every one of his sermons are just so applicable to my life then that i just wanna thank God so much for bringing him here! I've been experiencing so much of God's mercy it's unbelievable. i've succumb to alot of temptation this past week and it's just been so hard for me to live with myself, and i sometimes wish God would just punish me like with some huge rod :D. But that's just what's so amazing about God. God IS love. God IS mercy. mercy and love that's just SO unconceivable to me!!! i can't even imagine it! the universe couldn't hold God's love for me! Thank you God! God's given me a goal to work towards now, He gave me this verse from Hebrews about fixing my eyes on Christ through everything i do! and about going on the path marked out for me by God. that's my aim now, and hopefully always. My spiritual journey is really hard to put in words here but i've tried my best. BASICALLY, God's just shown me such mercy, grace and love and the skies couldn't contain my thank yous! and Prabs!! if you're reading this, i just wanna say you've got such a wonderful heart for appreciating nature and the stars at night and you take notice of things that seem so small to others (like e cutting down of that tree!) and how you're so fascinated with the brain and everything! your appreciation for everything around you really inspires me! and i think that just makes you so specially you :D. so my life's been going great! got prelims around the corner so gotta be doing alot of work! But i just want to praise and thank God that whatever mistakes i might make on the way, in my studies, in my life, His plan for me never changes!! and that I can always trust and hope in Him. thank you!!!
Child of God;
4:45 AM
