Monday, October 23, 2006
hiiiiiii vance again! :) it's monday! just came back from school and i'm blogging while e waterh eats up up up! haven't been able to update cause of all e studying i've had to do. in fact it's really been quite stressful, and i haven't been this joyous all last week. i don't know.. i got mad at myself alot for not doing enough work, i just got very sick of life and of work. i've been battling with new found sins in my life as well so it's just been quite hectic and honestly, way tiring. i think what made it all worse was that i was mad at myself, condemning myself even when i knew God Himself wasn't. But i learnt some really valuable lessons through all that and i really thank God for it. i mean they're simple stuff, but i guess i just get so caught up in everything i tend to forget alot. i realised that when God calls us to be perfect, He doesn't expect us to be, He just expects us to always be striving toward it, to put my best into trying to be perfect. cause fact is, none of us can ever be perfect, we will always have sin in our lives, only God is. and i think alot of the time, i forgot that. i forgot how very human i am, and every day i just got more and more depressed that i wasn't getting anywhere near perfect with all my slacking and pride and i just forgot the basic truth of Christianity itself! Jesus died for our sins, He cleansed me of my sin!! He took e punishment for my sin that God's wrath was displayed on Him rather than me. God doesn't condemn me. He knows i can never be perfect or He wouldn't have died on that cross at all. I don't think He wants me to be depressed about the fact that i can never attain perfection, He knows that, I think He'd rather me rejoice in the fact that even when i do sin and stray from perfection, i've been forgiven of that very sin a long long time ago so.. WOOHOO! :D oh and thank You God for not letting it rain before i got home! while i was walking home, this song kept ringing in my head and it really comforted me. it just reminded me how much God is in control of every situation every single tiny problem that happens in my life and just how i can always depend on Him and hope in Him through every little thing, cause HE IS GOD. The Creator God! Who compares to Him? My security lies in You alone! :D
God, is bigger than the air I breathe
the World we'll leave
and God, will save the day,
and all will say,
my Glorious!!
Child of God;
2:04 AM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just so in shock and joy and awe and.. and.. i just can't express it in words!!!!!!!!! so amazing! God is SO amazing!! i got my results today! and HONESTLY, i was expecting to do REALLY badly, especially for my SS and Lit and english and tamil and everything else la! cause i really messed up my papers and i just went to school today expecting the WORSE. actually, the worse wasn't really the worst, it was more like reality. but God didn't let it happen and i feel SO undeserving!!! i really don't deserve any of those marks! and now i can fully understand what my sis means when she constantly says "it was all God!" i honestly couldn't understand it, but now i do!! it's like God marked my paper and gave me all those marks i don't deserve. but i tihnk He's telling me now that i have to stop focusing on the marks. i mean, to continue thanking and praising Him for them and rejoicing in them but to never lose focus of what is most important. I have to keep working hard, and not just during my exams, cause i know that's what He wants me to do. to always be putting in my best and using the abilities He's given me and to glorify His name cause He alone is worthy of all praise! Thank you God! sooo much! i was actually hoping for bad marks before this cause i was hoping it'd be a way of lessening my pride, but for some reason, this whole experience has brought me to a certain level of humility, cause God really showed me that i can't do anything, ANYTHING on my own and He's shown me once again His great power and mercy and goodness! it's just so amazing that God's love for disgusting sinful me is so great that i can't even imagine it, that the Heavens can't hold it!! I thank You so much God that You let me get to know You.
Child of God;
1:15 AM
